South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
