And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
