Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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