he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
