The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
