The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
