I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
