Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes

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(937): View more from Ohio

A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.

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(410): View more from Maryland

It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.

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(917): View more from New York City

every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.

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(415): View more from California

So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...

(1-415): View more from California

So no fakes?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

2020 sucks, I want a refund

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