Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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