Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize