id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
