Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
