He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up under a house in Key West
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