Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
