If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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