You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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