why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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