this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
how drunk are you?
Several
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
