i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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