just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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