Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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