PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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