i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
