I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
