Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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