So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
