just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
