you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
