I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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