You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
