Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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