What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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