Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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