During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize