I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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