the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
