sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
