Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize