so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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