Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
