is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Vodka?
Forever.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
