I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize