What did we do last night that was yellow?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
