if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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