I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
