lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
