Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
