i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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