nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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