New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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