You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
