I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
