sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
