Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
