Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
