no, he came in my armpit
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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