They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
