At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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