then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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