Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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