there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
