You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
