Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
