She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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