You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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