First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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